Yea, that's right, I'm on strike. And if I'm strong enough, I will continue my strike for as long as I can hold out.
I am boycotting complaining.
But allow me this one last indulgence: Complaining sucks! It's like that virus that whirls around your entire family, and then ends up infecting you again. You start with your grumblings about the weather, your work, your unappreciative fill-in-the-blank. And before you know it, you've got everyone around you roused up, pitching in their stories of minor nuisances and modest inconveniences. Which only eggs you on to dig down deep, and produce a complaint that will truly illustrate what a burdensome life you lead. It's become a national pastime...you bond with others by commiserating over things that irritate you. And it takes very little to get us going because we have become an ummah of whiners.
I've allowed myself so much latitude in complaining, I'm often unaware when it slips into sin. I can't count how many times I've complained about others under the guise of "venting"...as if airing out your grievances gives you license to speak ill of others. Islam tells us, "Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day either speak good or be silent." When I asked my mother after my surgery what's considered complaining, she said even sighing can be counted as a complaint (it certainly doesn't fall into the "speaking good" category).
It will take some effort, but I am committed to curbing my complaints.
Subhan'Allah, Islam teaches us to channel our complaints to the One who actually has the power to effect change. Our religion is beautiful- if you complain to the right One, you actually get ajer for it. And when you do face Allah with your handful of complaints, you realize how ridiculous the things you run your mouth about all day truly are (ya Allah, my browser moves so slow). I hope this strike will free me of the trivialities that entangle my mind, and make me a more grateful servant of Allah.
Feel free to join me on my strike, and let me know how you fare. Or feel free to lay your gossip-free complaints on me- but don't expect me to reciprocate.
6 years ago
Rehab, that reminded me of this hadith:
ReplyDeleteAmazing is the affair of the believer! Every affair of his is good for him, and this is not for anyone except a believer: if he experiences something pleasant, he is grateful to Allah and that is good for him; and if he comes across some adversity, he is patiently persevering and that too is good for him!” [Saheeh Muslim]
I love this! I'm for sure in on this strike with you!
ReplyDeleteIt's true, complaining doesn't get us anywhere. Unless of course it's to Allah swt. Just imagine how many hours of our lives will be directed into something more useful for us and everyone around us.
I don't know if anyone agrees with me on this, but I believe the less a person complains the more good things happen around that person (or maybe that's just because we have more positive attitudes when we complain less?)
Correct me if I'm wrong but I have heard a hadith qudsey that Allah swt says " I will give what my worshiper expects of me" (2ana 3ind thaan 3abdey Bey) so we should always expect good inshaa Allah.
We are both joining the strike with you!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah and I'm joining of course, inshaAllah. I'll let you know how it goes :)
ReplyDeleteOk, I totally want to join this! I've actually tried and failed several times. Post camps, post hajj, post retreat, etc. One of the biggest challenges I faced was identifying a complaint. Sure some are obvious, but what of those less clear? And then the slippery slope leads right back towards all complaining because it's hard to build a habit so that any action (or cessation of am action) becomes part of who you are, if you're not doing it regularly. I'll give 2 examples to clarify:
ReplyDelete1). Let's say we have a societal concern - for example - there's increased 'fa7isha' in our society (and there is! There's now cruiseships with this theme -can you believe it? A fa7isha cruise. A3udhubillah.) we don't know how to address it, so we complain - as these complaints increase people see a pattern and as a group they can begin to organize and take action. Do we actually want to end this type of complaining? But if we don't were back to the habit issue. Man is a creature of habit and once some complaining is allowed it becomes very hard to draw the line. It's much easier to fast a day and not eat at all than it is to go on a diet and avoid 70% of what you desire to eat.
2) how does one maintain or build close relationships without being able to open up and share reality of life? Many times it's hard to distinguish stating reality from complaining. For example if school is a lot of hard work and keeps me really busy, and a close friend is checking in on me is it complaining to state that fact? As a community and especially as friends we need to be aware of each others circumstances to support and look out for one anothers needs. If we don't know these things it becomes very hard to achieve high levels of sisterhood. How can I be a true sister if I have no idea what's going on with you? And in our society now people lead lifestyles that keep us physically distant not to mention limited in time and also not to forget how large the community is becoming - so often the only way people will know what's going on is by saying it. Once we allow that however how do you prevent complaining? That becomes hard to call for when defining it is so subjective.
3) is it really complaining to give a kahtira about complaining!! Isn't that a constructive complaint ( this is like the logic from 1) but I thought I'd add it :))
Anyway - these are some of the challenges I've toggeled with and welcme advice or other thoughts because I've been searching for a way to succeed long term in this effort!
i'm in!
ReplyDeleteempowered!
ReplyDeleteRehab,
ReplyDeleteI completely forgot about your blog since reading your first post. In the past 20 minutes or so I have laughed, cried, made dua, and rolled my eyes at your Rehab-iness. You are an exceptionally talented writer. You have helped me and I am sure many others more than you know...
Please do not stop
Love always,
Fatimah
ps. Tunt Fadiah, I miss you sooooooo much!!!
Count me in, this is just the kind of strike I need to be on!
ReplyDeleteLove you Rehab and THANK YOU!!!